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Interview

‘So I see from your resumé that you worked for the Walt Disney Company…’

‘Yes, that’s correct.’

‘…And that you were…’ he glanced at the paper, ‘a “personality artist and character interpreter.”‘

‘Yes.’

‘Meaning…?’

‘I performed as a costumed entertainer, working as a Disney personality.’

‘Oh!’ the man nodded. ‘I see. And you were…?’

‘Goofy.’

‘I’m sorry?’

‘I played Goofy.’

‘Goofy how? You mean you were funny or strange or—?’

‘No, sir. I mean I played Goofy. The character of Goofy.’

‘Goofy… That dog creature…’

‘Yes.’

He leant back in his chair. ‘Doing what, exactly?’

‘Well, primarily it was all pantomime because Goofy doesn’t really, you know, talk that much or anything. Or at least they preferred that we not speak. Mostly I would feign surprise at people making a good shot at shuffleboard—’

‘Shuffleboard?’

‘On the cruise. It was a Disney Cruise ship.’

‘Ah.’

‘And so when someone made a score I would raise my hands – like this – and then clasp the side of the plastic head – like this, but, you know, my real head is a lot smaller so you don’t get the full effect – and then act like I was surprised they did so well.’

‘I see.’

‘Other times, it would kind of depend on the situation, I would be scolding – sort of like this, shaking my giant fingers at them in an exaggerated sort of way with one hand on my hip and bobbing my head from side to side– and sometimes I would pretend to laugh, you know, holding my chest – like so – and kind of bobbing around. “Ha ha ha!”‘

‘And would you make that face?’

‘What?’

‘That face. Would you actually make that face when you were doing it?’

‘Well, that’s sort of part of the whole idea of personality artist. Even if they couldn’t see my actual face, making faces inside the head would help motivate me and I think it showed in my characterisations.’

‘And you never spoke to people?’

‘Well, I mean, I would tell people where the restrooms were if they asked…’

‘And so,’ the man shook his head, glancing over the resumé again, ‘this was your primary source of income?’

‘During cruise season, yes. Sometimes I would work the park, Disney World mostly, during peak periods, and other times I would do side jobs at Chuck E Cheese.’

‘Doing…?’

‘The mouse.’

‘What?’

‘The big mouse who greets you—’

‘Yeah, I’ve never actually been to a Chuck E Cheese so… Tell me, Mister Comfrey… What exactly do you think qualifies you for a position here at Lockheed Martin?’

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